Happy 2025. First post of the year. I'm not dead, but I sure feel like it. My life feels like its barley beginning yet I feel like it's ending. During this year I've filled with anger and frustration within my peers. I'm tired of old faggots telling my how to live my life. My body is tired of getting poisoned from thr junk I've been eating to cope with the shit conditions the people above me has set up. The bar is so high I might as well dig and live in the hole, just so I will trick myself thinking there is no standard. My life has been fucked from to back, I can't even enjoy a birthday without knowing my life will inevitably suck later on. There's this interesting collision between "I want to grow up faster to avoid this shit" and "I don't wanna get older because it will suck later". It's been 3 years since I've dealed with suicidal thoughts and I'm suprised I'm not dead at this point. My new years resolution is to not kill myself and that's a low bar. This week is gonna be the worst one in my life. All because that mantis bitch put me in a position I can't handle. I hate her, I wish her throat was slit, I fucking hate her. Anyway, to any of you reading this, wish me luck for this week. It's strange, I want to die but at the same time, I don't. To those who've been lookin at my art, thank you. This helps me feel a little bit encouraged, to keep going. I want to improve myself, I want to survive. I want to live. This week I won't be posting, I'll see you after this week.